The Tea — May 09, 2026

Today's theme is money, lies, and people getting caught. A federal indictment was returned against Nick Cannon's longtime accountant, who allegedly treated his client's debit card like a personal Amazon account before fleeing to Uganda. Rebel Wilson got called a "fantastical liar" in open court by her own lead actress's barrister. And Cher's son Elijah Blue Allman put it in a divorce filing that mom cut him off — which, given an active conservatorship fight, is a lot of family business to make public on a Friday.

If you've ever wondered why celebrities hire entire teams to manage their money, this story is the answer — and also the reason that system can go catastrophically wrong.

Frank Musoke, a former account manager at a Beverly Hills management firm, was indicted on eight federal counts this week. Per TMZ, sources confirm Cannon — a client of the firm for nearly 20 years — is the alleged victim, though the indictment doesn't name him. Prosecutors allege Musoke had control of Cannon's debit cards and PINs and used that access from December 2019 through June 2023 to withdraw roughly $1.7 million from ATMs, spend $165,000 on Amazon, charge nearly $192,000 on personal travel, and rack up another $160,000-plus in personal expenses. He's also charged with hiding more than $1.7 million in stolen income on his federal tax returns — three tax evasion counts on top of five wire fraud counts, per Complex's reporting.

Authorities believe Musoke fled to Uganda, where he holds dual citizenship. The U.S. and Uganda do not have a formal extradition treaty, which complicates enforcement. Watch whether the DOJ formally requests extradition. A request would indicate prosecutors believe they can secure his return; without one, the indictment could remain difficult to enforce. The indictment refers to "elite celebrities" in the plural — who else at that firm was affected remains an open question.

The phrase that's going to follow Rebel Wilson around for years just got said out loud in Sydney's Federal Court — by a barrister, in closing arguments, on the record.

Wilson is being sued for defamation by Charlotte MacInnes, the lead actress of The Deb — Wilson's directorial debut, a musical about Australian teenagers at a debutante ball that has been entirely overshadowed by this legal war. MacInnes claims Wilson tarnished her reputation by alleging she had made a sexual harassment complaint against producer Amanda Ghost, then walked it back to the benefit of her career. In Friday's closing, MacInnes' barrister Sue Chrysanthou accused Wilson of a "complete revision of history" and called her "a fantastical liar who has made up terrible, terrible allegations about other people," per Deadline. Wilson's defense argued it would make no sense to torch her own lead actress, since doing so would torch the film.

Wilson has maintained throughout the trial that she is a "truth teller" — now one of the more loaded phrases in Australian entertainment law. Justice Elizabeth Raper has reserved her decision, per the Star Observer, meaning a verdict could be issued any day. If Wilson loses with aggravated damages, the three other lawsuits she's currently facing — two in Australia and one in the U.S., all from The Deb producers including Ghost, per Art Threat — would face greater settlement pressure, and talent insurers could tighten underwriting of defamation coverage on noisy sets.

There are family disputes, and then there are family disputes filed in Los Angeles Superior Court for the public to read.

In a May 5 filing tied to his divorce from estranged wife Marieangela King, Cher's son Elijah Blue Allman — her only child with the late Gregg Allman — claimed his mother stopped sending him a "recurring gift income" in August 2021. He says he now lives on $10,000 a month from his father's trust, which lands at $6,790 after taxes — and he's court-ordered to pay King $6,500 a month, per Yahoo's reporting on the filing.

The backdrop is what makes it heavy. In April 2026, Cher filed for conservatorship of Allman for the second time, alleging he has "no concept of money" and "spends any money he gets immediately" on "drugs, expensive hotels, and limousine transportation," per Parade. A judge denied the request without prejudice on April 24 — meaning Cher can refile. The next spousal support hearing is set for July 17. The conservatorship fight and the divorce fight are now running on parallel tracks, with Allman's financial floor being publicly litigated in both. Watch whether Cher refiles before July; if she does, the two cases could collide in ways both sides will need to manage.

Royal biographer Andrew Lownie's new book Entitled dropped an excerpt in the Daily Mail, and it is a lot. The excerpt alleges Sarah Ferguson and Sean "Diddy" Combs first met in 2002 at a party hosted by Ghislaine Maxwell, and by 2004 began a "friends with benefits" arrangement, per Cheat Sheet's summary of the excerpt. The most attention-grabbing allegation in the excerpt is that Ferguson once brought a 16-year-old Princess Eugenie to a Diddy yacht party.

Diddy's rep Juda Engelmayer told The Mirror US the claims are "utterly ridiculous gossip" — a denial that conspicuously does not address specifics. Ferguson has not responded, which, given her usual PR instincts, is itself notable. Treat this as reported allegations from a book excerpt, not established fact. What to watch: whether Kensington Palace issues any statement at all. Eugenie is not a working royal, but she is a royal, and the Epstein-orbit framing is the part that won't go away quietly.

Ariana Grande announced the first single from her forthcoming eighth album Petal: it's called "Hate That I Made You Love Me," it drops May 29, and she described it on Instagram as "one of my favorite songs that I'll ever write," per Variety. Petal — executive produced and co-written with Ilya — arrives July 31 via Republic Records, per Billboard. Her Eternal Sunshine tour begins June 6 in Oakland, meaning the single drops three weeks before she plays large arenas.

The fan forensics started within minutes. The title is passive and remorseful, placing the emotional weight on the speaker — and the internet is reading it as a direct response to the public narrative around her relationship with Ethan Slater and the Wicked press cycle. The song is real; the lyrical interpretation is projection — which is, of course, exactly the point.

A Beverly Hills accountant indicted on federal charges and believed to have fled to Kampala with $192,000 in travel receipts; a barrister in a Sydney courtroom calling a Pitch Perfect star a fantastical liar with a straight face; a 49-year-old man explaining in court paperwork that mom stopped Venmoing him in 2021. The week's villain is the Chase app, the week's safe word is "without prejudice."

Stay messy.

Forward this to the friend who texts you "wait WHAT" before you've finished your coffee.